How can I stop being angry at my dad because he died serving in the military?

My father died in the line of duty, and I can’t help but feel that what he did was both heroic and preventable. I don’t know why he enlisted when he could have been safe at home. It makes me angry; how can I help justify his decision and not be angry with him?

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This Kind of Life

In the blurry, awful period immediately after my father died, the house where I’d spent half my life no longer felt like mine. Everything felt too quiet, too still. The lingering air of death and sadness was heavy all around us. The family dogs refused to leave my parents’ bedroom and even the sun seemed reluctant to shine, obscured behind a cloudy snowstorm that lasted all night and the following day.

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