How do you tell the school about parent loss?

How do you recommend telling the school about parent loss? How do you recommend acting once everyone already knows?

  • If possible, before the news about your parent’s death is revealed to your classmates, be sure to tell a few close friends. It will not only be comforting, but it will give you experience on how to talk about your parent’s death with other kids. Also, with close friends you can almost create lingo that just you guys can understand, so in awkward situations you can communicate. For instance, if you need “out” of a situation that is making you sad, but don’t want others to know, you can use a code word. 
  • The parent or caretaker should be the one to tell the school, making sure that not only the teacher knows, but also the principal and counselor.
  • Your classmates can be very supportive, but some may feel awkward. Knowing that your classmates know can relieve you of the burden of telling others.
  • It can often feel like after losing a parent you have to act a certain way to please others, and as insane as that sounds, it’s true! Some people, being unfamiliar on the topic of parent death, may believe that in order for a child to express their sadness, he or she must be crying all the time. If they are at times happy or calm, then they must not really be sad, right?  This is ridiculous. There is no right or wrong way to grieve; unfortunately, most people do not know this. The point is, that at school, there is no correct way to act, so long as you aren’t hurting others or yourself. It is okay to be happy at times, and just as okay to be completely miserable at other times. Sometimes what people think is best for you, isn’t necessarily what you need. 

–Judy Schiffman

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.