Crazy, right? I bet I can read your mind – Has it been a year already? Or the other alternative – It’s only been a year? First of all, I would like to congratulate you if you’ve made it this far. If you have, or if you’re waiting for that landmark to come, let me tell you this – it only gets better from here.
Sure, there will still be the holidays and special events that your friend just wishes they could share with their parent. And there will be times when you can’t do anything to make it better, because let’s face it - you have the parent that they don’t have.
The key to being a supportive friend at this point is to continue doing the things you have been doing all along. Listening. Spending time together. Sharing the mutual understanding that some things in life are just not fair. One thing that you both need to remember, however, is that while some things are going to be unfair, life goes on. What you choose to do with your life, and the way you look at it will make all the difference.
As they work to overcome the adversity they face, your friend’s parent or your family friend will be watching over them and smiling. They will be watching over you and smiling because you are helping your friend to be the best person they can be, even though sometimes they will be sad and life won’t be fair.
In the meantime, now that it has been a year, there is something that I will share with only you, the friend. Moving on doesn’t mean that you’re forgetting the person who has passed away. In the beginning, I told you that you needed to focus on yourself before being there for your friend. Now, I’m telling you to think about yourself again and I want to remind you of how important it is to cut yourself some slack. It’s a common theme throughout this process that we call “healing.” Like I said, moving on is not forgetting. It’s letting go of the sadness, the burden that has been on your shoulders for the past year. Keep the person in your heart, but don’t keep all of the sadness that you gained a year ago.
That is what it means to move on. And that is what you have to do.